Movie Thoughts: Phantom Thread

One simply cannot talk about how good the movie Phantom Thread is…unless they’re an old person with gray pubes, a shortcut to NPR on their iPhone 5C home screen, and a proclivity for crushing up and snorting lines of niacin tablets. I have an iPhone 5C lying around somewhere but I swear I have a newer iPhone now so I’m not gonna talk about Phantom Thread. I’m still young dammit.

So now I’m going to break rules (unlike Reynolds Woodcock) and review this movie in spite of the fact that I’m still young (dammit):

It’s just about a relationship between two people, but it’s brilliantly shot using vintage equipment that could make this a film as easily made in the 60’s as today, although arguably harder nowadays in an ecosystem dominated by Arri and RED cinema cameras. There’s this lovely and heavily contrasty grain that’s not unlike watching beach sand swirl in water and the use of natural light is superb.

Anderson peaked with Magnolia, one of the greatest movies ever made, in my humble opinion, and hasn’t made something as consummately perfect since then, but I do think this one was a return to form after The Master and Inherent Vice, which were both movies about seriously messed up people.

To be fair, all his films are about seriously messed up people. I guess I don’t have a point, do I?

I think I’m having a hard time articulating why I liked Phantom Thread because I don’t wear New Balance 990’s and go to Meetups. I should have stopped while I was ahead.

Go see it. Jeeze.

Sad Thoughts: RIP PF Chang’s in Burbank

The other morning, I noticed this sign outside PF Chang’s:

This makes me sad. I am far from an alcoholic, I’m a lightweight in fact. My poison of choice is probably coffee, but even coffee I can’t stomach after 10:00am. That being said, I was very sad to find out that P.F. Chang’s had closed the doors of the location in Burbank, California.

You see, I’m not a big drinker, and because of that, it only takes a couple for me to not feel so great the morning after imbibing with friends, and everyone knows the cure for any hangover is terribly awesome greasy food.

*Disclaimer – I know it’s not actually a cure. There is no cure for a hangover the same way there is no cure for being born straight.

**Double Disclaimer – There is, of course, Hangover Heaven if you happen to live in, or be near the area it serves.

With all that being said, PF Chang’s was an excellent hangover placebo. Their Lo Mein consistently made me feel better and left me with such a fond memory that I typically would go back roughly three days later and order it again…and regret the hell out of that second visit, swearing I would never be hung over again.

This sort of thing typically happened to me once a year, and I almost found myself looking forward to it, but alas, no more.

I wildly speculate that this was not the result of people not going there (PF Chang’s appeals to a lower-but-not-lowest common denominator, and thus, is is usually pretty full of people, but rather, it could be that Chang’s decided to pull out of their lease after the Burbank Town Center Mall failed to complete their renovation on time, and by on time, it was supposed to be done before Thanksgiving 2017, and is nowhere near being complete.

Of course, there are no winners here, whether it’s the staff of the restaurant (who hopefully got reassigned to other nearby locations…but probably didn’t), mall patrons, regular diners, casual diners with one less option , or sad sorry hung over folks such as yours truly looking for a little comfort on their day of suffering, nobody comes out ahead here.

With any luck, the new tenant will serve up a similar style of salty greasy goodness that brings joy. That’s all one can hope for.

Movie Thoughts: Den of Thieves

I went and saw Den of Thieves this afternoon and it’s worth pointing out that it was completely sold out all day on both screens it was showing in at the local multiplex which is scientific proof that not one woman in LA who participated in the 1 Year Anniversary Women’s March was able to get her boyfriend or husband to participate alongside her. But then again, we’ve always known that this is the dynamic in relationships.

With that bit of social science fact out of the way, let’s talk about the movie itself:

There’s nothing new under the sun so saying Den of Thieves is basically Heat isn’t enough and just makes you a dime store movie watcher if that’s the best you can come up with. Also, it’s good so just saying it’s Heat doesn’t acknowledge its twist. While it still may not be as good as Heat, it’s still good! So here are my thoughts:

It’s the goldenrod draft of Heat recut in iMovie while sipping on brotein & brown rice smoothies as you shop for a new ford vehicle (but can’t decide between a Fusion or a Taurus) on Autotrader.

So basically at the end of the day today, it’s going to be tough determining which half of the American couple had a better day: Women who marched rightly in the name of empowerment and women’s rights, or their boyfriends who got to fantasize about guns and periwinkle-blue collar criminals with ridiculous criminal technology robbing banks with guns and high-tech stuff that no ex-con could rightly get his hands on.

Welcome to My Social Media

This post on social media is going to stay sticky for a while as an introduction to what exactly is going on here:

I’m leaving social media as a tool for sharing ideas and sharing content.

I’m tired of places like FaceBook and Twitter where all anyone does anymore is complain about politics and share false or temporary happy moments from their romantic relationships, all with the intent of being validated with ‘likes’ and comments and shares and re-shares.

And things aren’t getting better.

Continue reading “Welcome to My Social Media”