Movie Thoughts: Maze Runner – The Death Cure Review

Well I saw Maze Runner: The Death Cure, and I’m not going to bury the lead on this one: It was better than Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

Now, this is primarily because the Maze Runner movies are over and we still have a lot of disappointment yet to come with the Star Wars Franchise (full disclaimer, I enjoyed the Last Jedi, but I also like Panda Express chow mein sometimes too). However, this all being said, the story in Maze Runner made far more sense. It’s also because Maze Runner was a fully whole movie (albeit a threequel) and The Last Jedi was administrative cleanup from The Force Awakens.

It was a story of a group of beautiful millennials who found the last un-looted Fred Segal in post-apocalyptic Canada and went on a quest for hair product. Upon finding it, they made each other look awesome, and then infiltrate Shoppingmalltropolis so they can stress test ninjatrooper masks by taking them on and off over and over, to see how it would affect their hair and in doing so, they wreck the city, thereby stopping zombies.

See? It’s a solid plot.

Told you it was better than Star Wars.

Sad Thoughts: RIP PF Chang’s in Burbank

The other morning, I noticed this sign outside PF Chang’s:

This makes me sad. I am far from an alcoholic, I’m a lightweight in fact. My poison of choice is probably coffee, but even coffee I can’t stomach after 10:00am. That being said, I was very sad to find out that P.F. Chang’s had closed the doors of the location in Burbank, California.

You see, I’m not a big drinker, and because of that, it only takes a couple for me to not feel so great the morning after imbibing with friends, and everyone knows the cure for any hangover is terribly awesome greasy food.

*Disclaimer – I know it’s not actually a cure. There is no cure for a hangover the same way there is no cure for being born straight.

**Double Disclaimer – There is, of course, Hangover Heaven if you happen to live in, or be near the area it serves.

With all that being said, PF Chang’s was an excellent hangover placebo. Their Lo Mein consistently made me feel better and left me with such a fond memory that I typically would go back roughly three days later and order it again…and regret the hell out of that second visit, swearing I would never be hung over again.

This sort of thing typically happened to me once a year, and I almost found myself looking forward to it, but alas, no more.

I wildly speculate that this was not the result of people not going there (PF Chang’s appeals to a lower-but-not-lowest common denominator, and thus, is is usually pretty full of people, but rather, it could be that Chang’s decided to pull out of their lease after the Burbank Town Center Mall failed to complete their renovation on time, and by on time, it was supposed to be done before Thanksgiving 2017, and is nowhere near being complete.

Of course, there are no winners here, whether it’s the staff of the restaurant (who hopefully got reassigned to other nearby locations…but probably didn’t), mall patrons, regular diners, casual diners with one less option , or sad sorry hung over folks such as yours truly looking for a little comfort on their day of suffering, nobody comes out ahead here.

With any luck, the new tenant will serve up a similar style of salty greasy goodness that brings joy. That’s all one can hope for.